The Dark Times

Winter Solstice

Dear everyone who feels a sadness as dark and lonely as winter, please hold on long enough to read this post.

These are the dark times. We all have them. Even nature lives through a dark period every year, where everything just ends. Leaves fall away after having reached their most beautiful, leaving the trees naked and exposed to the elements; the nighttime eats into our daylight hours, making for long, dark mornings; our sunsets come earlier making for long, dark nights.

We human-type-people experience the same thing. We call it different things, and the cycles might not be as predictable, but it’s the same. Things we thought were at their best, suddenly shrivel and fall away. Relationships end. People die. Illness comes. Wealth ebbs. Bills never stop increasing. The wolves gather outside the door, and it seems as if the good times we once knew are gone forever.

But if we want to know for sure that it gets better, we need only look to nature. Because the oldest, wisest piece of wisdom ever is this little nugget right here:

As above, so below. As within, so without.

This tiny sentence says a thousand things. But first and foremost it’s telling us that it will get better. Because in nature, darkness is always followed by and overcome by light.

Nature is showing us a deep and comforting truth over and over again so we cannot possibly miss it. Every year, like clockwork, she withers, she dies, she loses absolutely everything, by all appearances. And then when the sun returns, she is reborn as young and new and vibrant and filled with potential as spring itself.

And so will you be. So will you. This darkness will ebb. Each day will be just a little bit better. And just when it’s at its worst and you think it must be all over—that’s the very moment that it begins to improve.

The longest, darkest night is the winter Solstice. And the very next day, the light begins to take its territory back. The very next day is a little bit longer, and the next, longer, and the next longer yet. Bit by bit the darkness is driven out by the increasing, ever-spreading, never-failing light. The darkest night endures only for a moment. One night out of 365. It will quickly pass.

Getting through the darkness

So here are some things you probably don’t feel like doing if you’re depressed, but please, as a holiday gift to me and to everyone who loves you, force yourself to do them.

NATURE: Every single day, get outside. Even if it’s only for 15 or 20 minutes. If it’s not a bloody blizzard, go outdoors. More importantly, while you are outside, really be outside. Get out of your head. Put all 5 of your senses to work in the present moment. Smell the snow in the air and taste it on your tongue. Feel the brisk, cold breeze and let it chill away worries and pain. It’s fresh and clear and cold and new. Look at the beauty that’s only visible in winter. The patterns of ice crystals on weeds, or clinging to the few remaining leaves. Listen to the wind in those bare branches, and whispering through pine needles.

NURTURE: Every single day, treat your body like the sacred temple of spirit that it really is. It’s the house for your soul. There’s not much more sacred than that. Your soul is divine. A piece of what people call God. Source energy. The sacred non-physical force that lives in us all. So the home of that, the home of God, or Goddess, or whatever term you like, should be clean, right? It should be in good repair. When we find a leak in the roof, we should repair it.

To keep your body clean and in good repair, you need to eliminate toxins that make you sick. Feed it wonderful nutritious foods that make it healthier and stronger with every bite, foods that have nothing harmful in them. Feed it with plenty of pure water, too. Half your weight in ounces is the minimum amount you should be getting. A little more is better. And move your body so it doesn’t “set up” as Granny would have said. A car that sits still, even if brand new, soon has a dead battery and a growing garden of rust. Take it out for a run every now and then.

MINDFULNESS: A daily meditation practice is an excellent idea to keep yourself well and healthy. Meditation is the simple act of quieting that continuous mind chatter in our heads by distracting ourselves with a simple sound or silent counting. I count my breaths, 3 beats in, 5 beats out, and usually have a droning sound to focus on while I’m counting. When thoughts come I just remind myself to listen to the sound, and to keep counting my breaths, and the thoughts go away. It’s back and forth for my entire 15 or 20 minute session, but the more consistent I am about doing it every day, the better I get at it. My moments of true mind-quiet get longer and the mind chatter interrupts less and less. When I fall out of practice and start over, it’s like 2 minutes of quiet for 15 minutes of trying. But even that 2 minutes is wonderful. I liken meditation to plugging your computer in to get the latest software updates. It can’t run the way it’s supposed to without these updates. And neither can we.

PRESENCE: Be in each moment. Feel, see, hear, taste, smell each moment. Be fully present in each moment. Get out of your head, and be physically focused where you are, and in finding good things about where you are.

DISTRACTION: Anything that takes you away from the pain is a good thing during dark times. And I know sometimes nothing can do that, but most of the time, distraction can at least make you forget to hurt for a few minutes. And that’s crucial, because those few minutes are all it takes for healing to begin, for good things to manifest, for the energy to shift. The more distractions, the better.

There are so many ways to distract ourselves. The best ways, when we’re feeling low, are calling, texting, FaceTiming, messaging, and even in-person interaction with other people. People who love us, people who like us, but maybe even better, people who need us. If we can get busy helping someone else through a difficult time, it can pull us right out of our own pain better than almost anything else there is.

And if it can’t be people, it can be activities. It can be TV and movies, documentaries and standup, talk shows and reality shows. It can be pets! Animals are living, breathing, antidepressants. It can be video games or jigsaw puzzles, or creating art. For me that means writing, even if it’s stinky. (Our prose can be pretty bad when we’re depressed. It can also be ingenious. Depends on the day.)

So try those things: Get out in nature, nurture your body, meditate and practice presence in the moment, and reach for every imaginable (but not harmful) distraction.

• Nature

• Nurture

• Meditation

• Presence

• Distraction

Help

Finally, if you’re not seeing a professional, please do. I know help isn’t easy to come by right now. But if you were diagnosed with cancer, you would put forth an effort to find the best doctor to treat it, wouldn’t you? Depression is a deadly disease. As deadly as cancer. So treat it that way. Find not just any professional, but the right one. Be aware that medications can take several weeks to kick in, and honestly, it’s hit and miss with them. You never know what’s going to work for you until it either does or doesn’t. When it doesn’t work, you must insist on change. You can feel better. You are supposed to feel better. If you don’t feel better, then you’re not on the right treatment. Insist on them getting it right. Your life is on the line.

I want you to know that you are loved beyond what you can even imagine. Not just by your family and friends and by me, but by your higher self, your spiritual mother, the Source from whom you sprang. The Whole of You is so much bigger than the little stream of it that is your current you. But you have access to all of it, all the time. Every you you’ve ever been, or ever will be, and every who that anyone else has ever been or ever will be. All are a part of the whole. Your soul is one livestream of that, and so is everyone else’s. And that Whole is pure love that is flowing full force all the time. We just can’t always feel it when we’re living in a state of its opposite. You know this. We have to tune in to it, adjust our inner radio dial to the right station. It’s a tiny adjustment, but we have to be willing to make it.

Like attracts like. Bright love and dark despair repel each other. They’re opposites. One is love and the other is the lack of love. You can’t have love and lack of love in the same place at the same. That’s why it’s so hard to find any light during our dark times. But if we can compel ourselves to reach for a little relief, to reach for something that brings just a little bit of distraction, and possibly even a smile, then we’ll feel the light on our faces again. And once we feel it, we can turn to fully embrace the flow of love that’s been missing.

Just try a little bit. Just pick yourself up and force yourself to try just a little bit. Step outside. Face the sun. Feel the cold breeze. Notice the smile of a child. Pet a puppy. Eat a chocolate. Talk to someone who always lifts you up.

You are loved.

Blessed Solstice!

Maggie

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