Overwhelmed?
With a ritual to help!
A replay post from 2011, with improvements!
My dog is not well, and I’m trying to write two books, both due in a few weeks, neither anywhere near done, and my house is a mess, and my daughter’s wedding is next month, and, and, and…. The list could be endless. And by making it, I’m breaking my own cardinal rule of never focusing on the negative. Of never giving anything I don’t like more attention than I absolutely must.
What should I be doing instead?
What is the surefire cure to the feeling of being at the bottom of an avalanche that just keeps on coming? To the worries that keep you awake nights? To the endless litany of things that seem to be going wrong, or getting ready to go wrong? To the endless list of requests and/or demands from the people in our lives we wish we could accommodate?
First: Distraction.
Find something to do that requires all of your attention. It has to be something you enjoy doing, something you will have fun becoming immersed in. Something you can get lost in. Art, drawing, creating, exercising, a great film, a great book. I know you think you don’t have time, but you don’t have time not to.
For me, it can be watching a documentary, exercising with some light weights or going for a jog, reading,
Second: Shrink your “to-do” list.
Here’s a way to do so, with a ritual that will help. You’ll need a piece of paper and writing implement, a pair of scissors, and a black ribbon 3-4 inches long, and some dried, fragrant herbs like rosemary or sweetgrass.
If a to-do list item is there because of guilt, and it’s not something you want to do, but something someone else is pressuring you to do, cross it off. Learn to be okay with people being mad at you for not doing what they want. They’ll get over it. Realize that while you’re ticking them off, you’re also teaching them, by example, that it’s okay to put their one’s own needs first. They’ll thank you for it someday.
Naturally, this doesn’t apply if I’m being paid to do something. In that case, I get it done and off my plate quickly, so dreading it stops negatively impacting all areas of life.Anything on the list that is an “I should” or “I ought to” do item, should be examined closely. Is it really your job? Do you really want to do it? Could it be delegated to someone who would enjoy it? Is it, at the end of the day, someone else’s problem and not yours at all? If so, are you really helping them by doing it for them, or are you a bit of an enabler? If that’s the case, cross it off, reassign it, delegate it, and let it go.
Now organize your list into two columns; on the left, list the things you actually want to do, on one side. And on the right, put the things you feel you ought to do, and can find no way around doing, but really don’t feel like tackling yet.
Cut the paper in half, between the two columns. Yes, take a pair of scissors and cut it in half.
Take the half with the list of things you ought to do but don’t want to do, roll it into a tiny scroll, and tie it up with a black ribbon.
Find a flameproof dish (or a black iron cauldron, as I like to use) and a quiet room, or go outdoors. Put some nice smelling dried herbs in the dish, like sage or sweet grass, or maybe mint or rasberry leaf. You could even use flowers you’ve saved and dried. The point is to make the ritual a little more mystical, to make the smoke a little more fragrant, and to provide kindling for the scroll. So dried grass and leaves from your lawn will work equally well.
Light the herbs. As the flames flare up, light the scroll from their flame. Get it burning well and drop it onto the herbs and let it burn.
Say, “I don’t have to figure out how to make the sun rise in the morning. You do that. I don’t have to figure out how to make the moon move through its cycles and turn the tides. You do that. I don’t have to figure out how to make the seasons flow from one to the next in perfect rhythm. You do that. And I don’t have to figure out how to accomplish the things on this list, which are far simpler. Because you can do that if I let you. I surrender it all to the higher wisdom of the Universe. I am letting it go. You figure it out. So mote it be.”If the fire goes out, light it again until your scroll has burned all the way. When the it’s fully burnt, let the smoke keep billowing toward the sky. When you’ve finished, pour the ashes outside and let the winds carry them away. (You might even do the entire ritual outside, to keep your smoke detectors from interrupting.)
It is done. Do not give these items another thought right now. What remain on your to-do list are items that you are looking forward to doing. Pick the one that makes you feel best, move it right to the top of the list, and do that. Continue in this way, doing the thing that feels best to you, each day. And after each day’s task is done, do something that’s not on your to-do list at all, something that is purely for your own pleasure. A walk, a nap, a massage, a chocolate. Anything!
Within a few days of doing these things, you will begin to notice something odd. Somehow or other, the things on the list you burned, are getting done. Maybe by you, due to a sudden inspiration that makes you really feel like doing it. Maybe some of them get done by someone else. Maybe some of the tasks just become no longer necessary.
Who cares how, it does happen. Soon the things you ought to do and don’t feel like has dwindled down to one or two, and as the deadlines approach you are now feeling good, refreshed, empowered and fully capable of tackling them. They no longer seem as bad as they did before.
Try this method and see what happens. Recapping:
Shrink the to do list.
Reassign and delegate.
Hand some of the items over to the Universe or your Higher Power by whatever name you like.
Do the things you most feel like doing first, not the other way around.
And feel better. I got lost in writing this blog and I feel better already. Now to apply this to my own to-do lists!
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