9 Steps to Realign

Self administered first-aid for when you run into a wall

When you are least likely to exercise self-care, is when you most need self-care.

Let those words sink in while you read the rest of this piece, which I hope will pack lots of help into a small amount of space.

Sometimes you get busy. You get excited about other things. You let your meditation habit slide. You forget to turn off the news after the local weather report and leave the 24-hour-news of your preference on all day. Things are pretty good or maybe you’re so busy you don’t notice that they’re not. That they’re a little shaky. That your energy has shifted from good shit to too much shit to aggravating shit to the world is ending shit. And the next thing you know some big, fat, ugly “problem” lands right smack in the middle of your life.

And as you sit there, shell shocked from the disaster and wondering how the hell you’ll ever get through it, you are less likely to want to indulge in self-care than you are at any other time. And that’s probably a good thing. When you’re in a mood of omyGod, this is a disaster, you can only attract more of that kind of energy. Disaster will gather around you. Your energy matches disaster, so you are becoming a magnet to things that match that feeling of dread and disaster.

You don’t want to amplify that vibration, you want to change it.

Shift attention away from the problem

First, you need to take several steps back from the subject of the problem. It’s one part of your life. There are thousands of other parts if your life, and many of them are going very well. Leave the disaster alone for a little while and turn your attention to the things that are working well. Don’t fiddle with them! Just focus on them a little. Think about them. Think about all the things that have gone right in your life. Look around yourself, and truly appreciate all that you have. Bask in pride for all that you have done, for how far you’ve come. Give yourself a pat on the back. Start to let it go a little bit.

Get a fresh perspective on the problem

If you can, reach out to a friend who you perceive is good at the subject of your current challenge. And start referring to it that way, as a challenge, not as a problem. It’s a challenge. Challenges come to help us grow. We either triumph over the challenge immediately, or we grow into the version of ourselves who can triumph over the challenge. This process is called life. It’s how humans learn to walk, talk, and use the bathroom. We are in a constant state of learning, of evolving, of unfolding, of becoming. It’s never done.

So take an honest look at the challenge and discuss it with someone you trust.

You have two goals in this discussion and the first is this:
Determine whether this challenge is something you have the power to change. If it’s not, then the goal is to find a way to surrender to it, accept it, and move past the place where you need it to be different.

If it’s something you do have the power to change, then the goal is to make a plan to change it. Once you have a plan, the challenge is no longer a challenge. Now it’s a project. You are in charge of your project: Your project is not in charge of you.

Implement the plan

If it’s possible to do so right then, begin to implement the first steps of your project.

Make the first payment. Make the first apology. Make the first repair. Fill out the application. Take the first step. And when you do, celebrate it! High five someone or high five yourself. You are doing this. You are growing into the person who triumphs over this!

If it’s not possible to implement any of the steps of your plan just yet, move on to the next step and come back to this one as soon as it is possible.

Self-care routine

Now that you’ve managed to distract yourself and move into a better place, if even for a moment, you’re ready to shift into a self-care mode. And trust me, if you can leave the problem behind, and engage in these practices, the solution is going to come far faster than if you just stay focused on the problem all the time. So really give this a try.

• Meditation
  Every day, no matter what, set aside 15 minutes to sit quietly in uninterrupted stillness. I count my breaths, 3 beats in, 5 beats out. I imagine a color with each breath if my mind is refusing to go quiet. red, orange, yellow, green, teal, blue, bluer, purple. It’s very hard for mind chatter to exist when you are counting and imagining color. If you need still more distraction, I also use a soft bit of white noise. I prefer running water, but rain will do.
  
  As thoughts come, you just gently tug your brain back to the counting, the colors, the sound, and the chatter will float away. This is plugging yourself in to download the latest updates. This is where you find your balance, intuition, and power.

• Segment your time
  Set a specific time to work on each item on your to-do list, and during that time, work only on that item. When your time expires, put that item aside and do not revisit it again for the day. Before moving on to the next segment and task, take a few minutes for yourself. Do some deep breathing, or stretching. Read an article or listen to a chapter of an audiobook, have a snack or go for a walk outside. Give yourself a half hour or so before moving to the next job.
  
  Equally important, keep your quitting time sacred. Especially if you work from home. After quitting time, turn the devices off, and focus on the here and now.

• Get good sleep
  By turning off devices an hour or more before bed, you will sleep better.
  Keep the lights and noise in your bedroom very low.
  Go to bed at the same time every night.
  Have a bedtime routine that is exactly the same every night.

  Some white noise might be extremely helpful.
  If you can, allow yourself to wake up naturally.
  If you need an alarm, I recommend the Progressive Alarm Clock app.
  You’ll sleep better if you have had enough exercise the previous day.

• Get outside daily
  It’s vital to our well being to spend time outside every single day. I only break this rule myself on rare winter days when it’s so cold the wind would raze the skin off my cheeks. Otherwise, I walk the dog morning and evening, and when it’s nice I’m outside frequently in between. Go outside. And when you are out there, be fully present in the moment. See, and hear, and smell, and taste, and touch nature. Get out of your head and fully engage your senses.

• Move your body
  I’m terrible about sitting. I’m a writer, and the most cozy way to write is on the sofa with a laptop on my lap. It is less fun to use my stand-up desk with the treadmill underneath. So I try to split my time between those two things.
  
  I’m told that just moving isn’t enough, though. Sitting 6 or more hours per day is terrible for us, (though certainly not as bad as smoking.) I’m told that even if you spend an hour exercising, and sit for hours, the sitting is still doing you harm.
  
  I’m told it’s important to get our heart rates up multiple times a day. Sometimes I jog. Sometimes I dance in the kitchen. Sometimes I just run up and down the stairs.
  
  I’m told instead of sitting on a sofa all the time, we should squat sometimes. Hunker-down, as the old folks would’ve called it. This stretches our parts that need stretching.
  

  I’m doing all of these things and once a day or so, I do a bunch of various work with ten pound weights. And pushups. Do pushups. They’re wonderful for you.

• Drink lots of water
  Water is crucial. Drink half your weight in ounces per day. I only get that much if I can count my decaf. I wonder if I can count my decaf?
  
  It helps to get a good water bottle and keep it full and beside you all the time. The quality of the water is important, too. Spring and well water that are free of fluoride and chlorine are best, but not everyone has access.
  
  If you have good, clean, sweet water, give thanks for it every single day, and do all you can to help preserve it and keep it that way.

• Nutrition
  I am passionate about the topic of nutrition. So much so that I earned a certificate in plant-based nutrition from eCornell, and am studying for a degree in the field. I cannot tell you how changing my diet improved my physical, mental, and emotional health.
  
  It’s very simple. Animal products are bad for us. Processed food are bad for us. Oils are bad for us. Yes, even olive oil despite its slick PR campaign and corporate funded studies that conclude “it’s better” without mentioning “compared to lard or butter.”
  

  So just eat less of them. Reduce your oils, dairy, meat, and eggs and use fewer pre-made frankenfoods.
  
  Eat more fruits, vegetables, beans, and lentils. Eat berries, mushrooms, and nuts Supplement with a few minimally processed foods like plant-milk, tamari, tofu, etc. Find some excellent whole grain breads, buns, and wraps you like that don’t include oil as an ingredient. Ezekial is my go-to brand.
  
  It’s as if a veil clears from your mind. You become crisp, clear, and sharp again. Your energy increases and all the things you’re on prescriptions for, correct themselves. It’s truly astounding. You have to try it to know.
  
  Read my other blog for more whole food, plant-based foods, recipes, how to make the change, how to cook and bake without oil, and lots more!
  

• Engage in some pampering
  Get a massage, or take a long, hot, scented bath.
  Treat yourself to something you love. That special brand of coffee you only buy at holiday time, that fancy shampoo you usually deny yourself.
  Get a new piece of jewelry, or art.
  Watch that movie you’ve been waiting for, even though it’s not yet free.
  Eat a chocolate.
  Take a nap.
  Heat one of those bean-filled, lavender-scented pillow we all have in a closet somewhere, and drape it across your neck and shoulders.
  Soak your feet.
  Get or give yourself a facial.
  Read a book and really savor it.
  Insert your own blissful thing, and then do it.
  

• Shift your thinking
  Imagine daily what life beyond the problem will be like. When this big hulking issue that you are defeating like the heroine you are, is no more, how good is that going to feel? Imagine it. Imagine the high five, the smile on your face, the feeling of relief, the pride in knowing you did it! You beat it! Feel that feeling, right there, the quick little surge that chokes you up and even burns in your eyes for an instant as you imagine your inevitable win. Grab hold of that feeling! That feeling is the gateway to that imagined reality. It’s the Stargate that takes you there.
  
  Harness that feeling, and find it in as many places as you can. Think back on every achievement, every moment of pride and fulfillment, every win, and experience them all again. Re-feel those feelings.
  
  Start to embrace those feelings with every step you take in your plan to meet the challenge and obliterate the problem. Start to identify those feelings with every small win in your life.
  

In the above 9 ways…

You can gently re-tune your inner radio dial to a better-feeling station. You’re tuning in the channel playing what you want. In doing so, you tune out the channel playing what you don’t want. You don’t have to hex it or banish it or curse it away. All you have to do is turn your attention elsewhere.

So now, let’s embrace the energy of the solution, as we go forward into this new year of opportunity and well-being.